Blooper badges

Blooper badges (Photo credit: antiuser)

I’m sitting down on my break and my boss is having a heated discussion about some missing paperwork or something or the other, with a co-worker from the building across the street. ( the two buildings are an interconnected organization). As I watch the other lady try her hardest to be professional with fake eyelashes and costume jewelry on, I notice her fly is totally down.

This just kills me because the girl was such a mis-fired priss. Oblivious to the nature of her attire, she continues to babble on about the subject at hand.  This gave me such an incentive to mention “hey lady, gravity nabbed your zipper”. How do you tell a complete stranger something embarrassing is happening to them and they don’t know it?

Shes probably going to go powder her nose and realize all the people she thought were her friends at work let her walk around half the day with her skivvies showing. I Probably should have said something, but she was all worked up, and I had a small satisfaction within myself for knowing something she didn’t.

My grandmothers current husband has this thing about letting his crack show. I don’t say anything to him about it, he probably is well aware, and suspenders are just an extra step his feeble self can’t engage. I mean the guy is almost eighty, how many decades has he been walking around showing his ass? He  Most likely is  about to kick the bucket. If I were that old, Id be a deflated crabby mess, scarring little children too. I guess there’s a point in life that puts a screeching halt into caring what other people think about you.

Another predicament… Stray mucus that’s dried. How do you address a person with a huge booger dangling from their schnoz to their top lip.  “You got a little morsel there you might want to get”, trying to be non nonchalant, with a gesture towards your own smeller. You run the risk of watching them pluck it, nose hairs detached with, immediately going into rolling a booger ball in between their thumb and index finger. They might be saving it for later, a salty snack.  Eh, boogers are thoughts that drip from your brain anyhow, no big deal.

There should be a manual for all of us innocent bystanders who just want to help! Either way, your obliging the focal point of a blooper, no matter how subtle.To say Something or not to say something? Next time someone tells me I’ve got spinach in my teeth, I think ill print out an award and shake their hand for being nice enough to swallow the awkwardness  ” uh, you’ve uh,  got something there, in your teeth”.

To Say Something, Or Not To Say Something

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