Tag Archives: Fashion

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Blooper badges

Blooper badges (Photo credit: antiuser)

I’m sitting down on my break and my boss is having a heated discussion about some missing paperwork or something or the other, with a co-worker from the building across the street. ( the two buildings are an interconnected organization). As I watch the other lady try her hardest to be professional with fake eyelashes and costume jewelry on, I notice her fly is totally down.

This just kills me because the girl was such a mis-fired priss. Oblivious to the nature of her attire, she continues to babble on about the subject at hand.  This gave me such an incentive to mention “hey lady, gravity nabbed your zipper”. How do you tell a complete stranger something embarrassing is happening to them and they don’t know it?

Shes probably going to go powder her nose and realize all the people she thought were her friends at work let her walk around half the day with her skivvies showing. I Probably should have said something, but she was all worked up, and I had a small satisfaction within myself for knowing something she didn’t.

My grandmothers current husband has this thing about letting his crack show. I don’t say anything to him about it, he probably is well aware, and suspenders are just an extra step his feeble self can’t engage. I mean the guy is almost eighty, how many decades has he been walking around showing his ass? He  Most likely is  about to kick the bucket. If I were that old, Id be a deflated crabby mess, scarring little children too. I guess there’s a point in life that puts a screeching halt into caring what other people think about you.

Another predicament… Stray mucus that’s dried. How do you address a person with a huge booger dangling from their schnoz to their top lip.  “You got a little morsel there you might want to get”, trying to be non nonchalant, with a gesture towards your own smeller. You run the risk of watching them pluck it, nose hairs detached with, immediately going into rolling a booger ball in between their thumb and index finger. They might be saving it for later, a salty snack.  Eh, boogers are thoughts that drip from your brain anyhow, no big deal.

There should be a manual for all of us innocent bystanders who just want to help! Either way, your obliging the focal point of a blooper, no matter how subtle.To say Something or not to say something? Next time someone tells me I’ve got spinach in my teeth, I think ill print out an award and shake their hand for being nice enough to swallow the awkwardness  ” uh, you’ve uh,  got something there, in your teeth”.

To Say Something, Or Not To Say Something

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Never Too Old For A Sleep-Over

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So you’ve finally found a babysitter for the first time in weeks or maybe even months, what to do now? Getting schedules to collaborate, when you have a mountain of responsibilities, is about as occurring as a solar eclipse. Chances are one or two of your girlfriends are already nixed from the get-go due to husbands, jobs or rug-rats. How do you have a fun night out but also maintain your healthy and mindful lifestyle?

First off, pat yourself on the back for wading through the worldly views and not succumbing to what is trending in the party scene. Dancing is an amazing workout and the music is fun, but when you add intoxicated lust-full men and women who are in the forte of being sleazy, your married friends are more worried about how they are going to explain to their husbands waiting at home with the kids where they went and what happened. To avoid this all together would be ideal, especially if a friend is struggling ( like most) in their relationship as it is.

Try staging a place that has no kids, like your single friend’s apartment, and turn it into the luau or a theme based get together you’ve always wanted to throw. Some Christmas lights set up indoors, a few flower leis, and a medley of Jason Mraz, Jack Johnson and Jimmy Buffet, puts you smack dab in the middle of paradise. Mix some margaritas  or blend some Pina Coladas. If you don’t drink, grab some chocolate covered strawberries and pineapple, or something decadent that makes a woman feel like shes treating herself, and dang proud of it. Relax ! Now is not the time to be thinking about the piles of laundry you need to fold. Have the girls who are attending bring extra things they don’t use or need such as shoes, purses, movies, etc. to swap goodies. Its like hitting the jackpot!

Use your imagination! What are some things you’ve never done but always wanted to try? What about that sleek, sexy, red Mustang you picture yourself in, if life was like a Walgreen’s commercial? Go for a test drive! All you need is a valid drivers licence to take it for a spin! Most car lots are open late. Being creative leads to the fondest memories.

In my opinion, you are NEVER too old for a good sleep-over. The stories, the makeovers, it just gets more convivial with age! You can even grab your tents and camp-out in the back yard with some flashlights, water balloons and squirt guns. Do not feel guilty for being lively and vibrant without your children. Teach your children that treasuring yourself and having a blast once in a while is healthy.

Getting together with the girls might take some planning, but it is definitely worth while and revitalizing. Good, clean fun is gratifying, from this point on you can be well esteemed the “morning after”. Your friends will thank you and who knows, it could be the start of a new memoir.